Ed Schlotzhauer

An artists journey

Tag: psychology

Sometimes You Can’t Describe It
I find that my most interesting work is difficult or impossible to explain. I can’t describe what it means to me, much less what it should mean to you.
Concrete
It seems like people often want a concrete description or explanation of our work. Being generous, I would say they are really seeking to understand and want to know what the artist was thinking and feeling. Being less generous, I might say they are being lazy. It is easier to be told the “answer” than to try to work out an explanation for themselves.
It might be a gallery director needing an Artist Statement for the piece. Or it might be as simple as a friend asking “what is it?” Either one can occasionally put us in a difficult position.
I know the gallery director needs the statement so they can talk to customers about the piece. That is right and good. I guess it is better for me to give them something rather than have them hallucinate a story. Although I would love to hear their thoughts. Artist statements tend to be a load of bovine excrement.
Even more challenging is the simple “what is it?” question. Of course, I could tell them exactly what it actually is. But I often feel that this takes a lot away from the experience. The picture may be saying a lot more than what it is literally “of”.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
I don’t know
But behind all this is the problem that I don’t actually know what it is. I do not have words to represent concretely what I think the image is showing. And even if I had a good enough grasp of vocabulary, my thoughts are fuzzy and confused. It’s hard to describe something when you don’t understand what you think about it.
A lot of instructors tell us that every image should be pre-visualized. That is, that we know why we are taking it and we anticipate exactly how it will come out. And that works for me for a lot of images. I nearly always know (almost) exactly how an image will look on screen on my computer. Except for those happy surprises, but that is another topic.
But to me, strictly pre-planning and pre-visualizing everything takes some of the joy and creativity out of it. It becomes more documentation rather than art. I honestly do not know why I take some pictures.
Instinct
A lot of the shots I end up liking best are purely instinctive. In normal shooting, I have all kinds of subroutines running in my head, analyzing composition and framing and exposure and focus and lighting and all the other considerations in making a decent picture. But when I am shooting instinctively, they are mostly subconscious. I am not spending much conscious thought on design and technique in the moment. Things just seem to take on a life of their own.
Sometimes this can happen in a flow state, which is a joy. But not necessarily. Sometimes it is like there is a light flashing, signaling from my subconscious. Telling me “hey dummy, look! There is a great shot there!”
When I am smart enough to pay attention to that signal, I don’t spend much time on analysis. I don’t stop and describe what it is and what I am feeling. Maybe I should. But I feel like I should just be scrambling to take advantage of the gift I have been given.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Can’t hurt to try
Some great photographers do try to document their thoughts when they shoot. They tend to keep notes and even analyze their feelings and thoughts at the moment. A great example is Tony Hewitt, an amazing photographer in Australia. He not only writes down his thoughts, he sometimes even writes poems expressing what he felt while shooting!
I don’t write poems and I very seldom can force myself to take the time to analyze my feelings. I would like to. I always carry a notebook. Usually all I note is where I am, if I am in an unfamiliar location. Later, examining the images on my computer, I have to try to reconstruct my feelings.
So I encourage you to do what I say, not what I do. Try to record some of your thoughts in the field, while it is fresh. It might help to understand them better.
Get used to disappointment
When someone asks the dreaded “what does it mean” question, what do we do? Maybe we bluff and make up some nonsense about representing the existential struggle between good and evil. Maybe we be brutally literal and say it is a picture of a weathered car door. I just liked the shapes.
I would like to say, like Wesley said to Inigo in their sword fight (Princess Bride) “Get used to disappointment.” I don’t know what it means, so how can I try to tell you? Do the work yourself. Come up with your own story. It is just a valid as mine.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Language doesn’t work
Each type of art media has they own unique strengths and weaknesses. You can’t always represent equivalent ideas with sculpture and painting.
Words and images are 2 different art forms. They cannot always say the equivalent things. I believe an image can tap into feelings, yearnings, deep beliefs, dreams, and memories that cannot adequately be written down in words. These things exist as things that pass through our minds as thoughts and feelings without being expressed in words.
Perhaps I am not doing my work justice by not spending the effort to try to unpack the “meaning” of my images. That would take a lot of time, and i know from experience that when I return to the description some time in the future, I would say no, I see something else now.
Our feelings when looking at art are based on our experience, knowledge, emotional state and perhaps health at the moment. These are moving targets.
So I do not consider it a fault when I cannot describe exactly what an image means. I could only tell you what it means to me, today. You should have the privilege of deciding for yourself what it means to you. If anything. Maybe nothing.
it could be that an image “means” nothing. It only has the value or meaning we ascribe to it personally. Too deep for now. That is a discussion for another day.
Meanwhile, let yourself be led to make images that are meaningful and significant to you. Even if you can’t describe what it precisely is you can take joy in what you feel looking at it. Not all of the world can be expressed in words.
February 5, 2025
Staying Creative
Since you are reading this, you probably call yourself a “creative”. That is great. But creativity seems to be cyclic. Staying creative is a continuous process. Some would say a struggle.
Cycles
Creativity is not a constant level. We experience creative peaks where exciting new work seems to burst from us. But we also have low points. In those troughs we don’t feel like we can generate any creative ideas. It is depressing and scary.
The encouraging reality is that this is normal. We do not and cannot operate at a peak of creative output all the time. We empty the tank. The reserve has to be refilled. It can’t be predicted or planned, but at some point it seems to dry up. But keep in mind that we really do not know what creativity is.
We know it is cyclic. And we know it will come back at some point. But when we are in that valley it can seem like a time of doom and gloom. Will it ever come back? Have I used up all the creativity I had and now I will never have any again?
You have thought these things. Admit it. I’m not the only one with these fears.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Forcing creativity
So what do we do? At some point we often resort to forcing it. We are determined to regain our creative highs, so we try to make our self create.
How does that work for you? Probably as poorly as it does for me. Sure, we can do some good work, even very good work. But we can’t kid ourselves that it is up to the level of our best.
Whatever it is in us that generates creativity operates on its own schedule. It is not sympathetic with our wishes. We can be welcoming and encouraging to it, but it does not operate at our command.
Do something
Now I will seem to contradict what I just said, but I do not believe it is a conflict. We will get through a creative valley easier and probably faster if we work through it. I used the idea of “emptying the tank” of our creativity. I believe practicing our craft and following our curiosity are very good behaviors to help refill it.
You may not be inspired with amazing new creative ideas, but go out and see what you can find. Explore. Do not expect to do your best portfolio work. Taking that pressure off will help you relax and lean into it. But doing something is better than sitting around moping.
It is a wonderful time to learn new skills, take some courses or watch some videos. Pick out some new technique you have been curious about and learn it. Practicing it now without all those creative bursts getting in the way is a good time to learn. It is a great time to explore some of those dark, scary corners of Photoshop that have intimidated you for a long time.
Like most of life, doing something is better than doing nothing. Don’t sit feeling sorry for yourself, thinking you are useless and have no more creativity. Fill. your time with learning, exploring, practicing, experimenting, even catching up with cataloging your images. And always follow your curiosity.
The word “create” is a verb. Be active. Go make things. Make dinner, make a drawing, make a fire, make some noise, but make. If all your attempts at being creative consist of passively consuming, no matter how brilliant what you consume is, you’ll always be a consumer, not a creator.
Scott Berkun, in The Myths of Innovation
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Relax
When creativity seems to slip away, when the muse no longer is with us, relax. It does not mean it is gone forever. Like waves, there are highs and lows. It will come back.
Even when we are not feeling inspired, we can keep on working and learning. Do not be passive and waste your time. Be preparing for the rush of creativity when it comes.
We are not a failure when it seems we cannot create astounding new things on command. We are recharging. Accept it. Go do your work anyway.
Have you done creative work you are proud of? Then you should be able to do it again when you are ready. Creativity is not a limited resource that is used up. When you are feeling it, pour it out on everything you do.
Let it flow
Being in a flow state is a great feeling. But it is not exclusive to feeling creative. Anytime you are immersed in applying your skill to a difficult and challenging problem you can be in flow.
Flow and creativity, then, are not synonymous. We can do great work even when we are not riding the crest of creativity. Don’t stop working.
Curiosity is the thing that pulls us along through life and through our art. It does not come and go like creativity. In that way, it is more powerful than creativity.
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. – Dorothy Parker
I like that idea that there is no cure for curiosity. I don’t want to be cured of it.
We can develop our curiosity by asking questions and wondering about things. Give yourself permission to follow your questions. Find the answers. Try things. See what happens. This healthy attitude will carry us through the ups and downs. Creativity may come and go, but our curiosity goes on and gets stronger.
So, even if you feel that your creativity has evaporated, trust that it will return again, just like it has in the past. While you are waiting, keep photographing, learn, practice, experiment, and especially, feed your curiosity. You might find that the extra kick of creativity is actually just an incremental boost to the power of your curiosity.
The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work. – Emile Zola
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Staying creative
So, as far as staying creative. You won’t always be at your peak. Sometimes you may feel way down in the valley. Don’t panic. It will come back. In the meantime, there are things you can do to improve yourself as an artist and a person and to entice the creativity back. Work on your curiosity. Explore new ideas and techniques. When you feel the creativity flowing again, you will be even more ready to use it.
But no matter what, keep working.
Today’s image
Sunset downtown. I turned my view down to the parking lot instead of out at the glowing buildings. Is this creative? Or is it just following my curiosity? I don’t know. I will leave that for greater minds to decide. Either way, I was letting it flow.
January 29, 2025
Life Is Happening
Life is happening right now. it is not something you hope will happen someday. Make the most of it, now. This includes your photography.
Now is all we have
The past is gone. The future is uncertain. The present time is what we have. Use it. Use it up. Wring it dry.
Time is a scarce and fleeting resource. We can’t slow it or bank it or save it. It passes, whether we want it to or not. It moves at the same rate for all of us. Use this very moment wisely. Once it is gone, it can never be reclaimed.
I don’t mean to be all Zen or depressing. But this is true and should be top of mind for all of us. Time is a resource we cannot control. All we can do is use it wisely.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
We don’t get a “do over”
We only have one life. I won’t argue reincarnation with you.
The choices we make on a day to day basis shape our future. When we decide not to do something, it is rare to get a second chance. How many opportunities do we let slip by to do something that would make us better?
Deciding to spend our time watching TV or playing games or hanging out on social media is wasting one of our most valuable treasures – our time. Solely my opinion, of course. Only you can decide what is the best use of your life.
Do days seem to slip away, disappear into a fog of sameness as we repeat the same actions every day? Why do that? That is the result of having no direction. Of letting external voices control our lives. Those voices do not have our best interests at heart.
It is commonly documented that when people are asked on their death bed what they regret, one of the most common regrets is that they did not take the chances they wanted to. For instance:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. – Old Colony Hospice
Fear caused them to miss out on the opportunities to lead a different life. This is what they regret at the end. It is so easy to do and it seems like the safe path. But who said everything should be safe or easy?
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Don’t just live for the future
On the other hand, we sometimes see people who seem to live entirely for the future. They have a “plan”. Their current time and energy and money is being banked for what they plan to do “someday”.
This is another way of avoiding living your life in the present. It is great to have goals. Even great goals that will take years to achieve. But what about now? The goals should direct the trajectory of our lives and influence how we spend our time. But they should not shut us down. No matter how important our long term goals seem, we are still living our life right now.
Even if you’re an entrepreneur and are starting a business from the ground up, you still have a life to live Maybe you decide it is in your best interest right now to be working 100 hours a week and pouring all your money into this business. But at least have an exit plan. It’s got to be a temporary agreement with yourself. Know when to call it quits. Think about what it is doing to your life and health and your family. Some things are more important than making a big bundle of money.
There is a saying “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” One point of this is that we are not as in charge of our plans as we sometimes think. If we cannot control the future then it is foolish to pin our entire life on an uncertain outcome. Live for now, too, while we are working for that future.
I had a friend who worked and saved to retire early. He had great plans: extensive travel, learning languages, doing good works for charity, etc. A great list. A few months after he retired, he was dead. Didn’t see it coming.
Wouldn’t he have been better off doing those things when he had the chance rather than putting them off to “someday”?
Be in the moment
That probably seems very heavy and perhaps depressing. It shouldn’t be. It really resolves to a theme I come around to a lot – mindfulness.
Mindfulness simply means being present, in the moment, aware of things around you and what you are doing. It helps us to live our lives now rather than fretting about the past or worrying about the future. A mindful attitude encourages curiosity. It leads us to learn, to explore, to experiment.
As photographers, these are skills we should always be practicing. Are we really seeing what is around us? Are we open to the opportunities that are there? Do we see past our preconceptions? Are we able to see the things around us for what they are and what they can be? And are we willing to put it in action by going out and photographing it?
Compared to the life experiences I was talking about this may seem trivial. But it is all related. When we are mindful – when we can really be aware and in the moment – we will be more successful living in the present. Think of photography as training for living a more rewarding life.
So I believe it is at least a double reward. Being mindful in our photography will keep us more engaged. We will be more creative and we will likely be happier with our images. Isn’t that one of our purposes in photography? What is really more important than growing creatively and being pleased with our work?
But, too, as we practice mindfulness in our photography it helps discipline us to be mindful in our daily life. Just thinking and being aware and in the present helps us to consider what is important. It helps us to decide how to make better use of this moment.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Moderation
Am I suggesting that you should quit your job and go do whatever “fulfills” you at the moment? Of course not. Living your life means you have responsibilities. Some things are urgent, some are important, some are just necessary. Being mature is knowing the difference and deciding what to do when.
You have bills to pay. You have a career, a family, housing to provide, people have to eat. Your government wants you to pay taxes. Unfortunately, we do not just get to do anything we want. We will do what is necessary because we are responsible adults.
But we have a hundred moments a day to choose what to do. When we can choose to drift instead of doing something useful and constructive. To be on automatic and just do the easy things. Practicing mindfulness is a great help in being aware of what we are doing and deciding to choose better things to do.
Mindfulness in photography is practice that helps us lead a more mindful life overall. Photography can help shape our life. Who knew?
Life is happening all the time. We can’t call a time out. Let’s not let our life drift away without giving it the best we can do.
I don’t want to come across as “preachy” or judgmental or having all the answers. I am a fellow traveler, looking for my path. Perhaps I am further down my path than you are.
Please take this as encouragement to practice a more mindful life. Remind me, too. When we are mindful we can take joy in where we are and when we are.
January 22, 2025
Take a Cheap Trip
Most of us like to vacation. Travel is booming at levels not seen for years. Popular vacation spots are often overcrowded. And costs continue to increase. What if I suggested a way to take a cheap trip? One that may benefit your photography. And it’s not a timeshare sales pitch.
High costs
Travel inflation seems to be higher than other inflation in general. It restricts some of what we can do.
A trip overseas for a few weeks can be out of reach, both in money and the time required. It can suck up our entire savings for a year or more. Even taking a local road trip is getting to be a burden and out of reach for some of us.
But some of us rely on travel to refresh and relax us. What are we to do?
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Why do photographers travel?
Photographers seem to have a special fondness for travel. We expect the travel experience to renew us, shake out the cobwebs, invigorate our vision and interest. And we want to come back with exciting new images to show and talk about.
This has long been the case. From the beginning photographers tended to travel.
As soon as the technology allowed fairly portable equipment, it seems like photographers were traveling. Matthew Brady traveled and photographed extensively during the American Civil War. Other famous artists like William Henry Jackson and Ansel Adams shot exclusively outdoors. And I’m just highlighting American photographers.
These artists traveled to places most people couldn’t go in those times. They opened up our understanding of the world and what was going on. In this, they did a great service.
Our travel expectations are probably more modest. We will seldom go to uncharted lands no one has ever seen. But we go to places new to us. Or at least places outside of our normal routine. It is enlightening and changes our perspective and understanding. That is usually a good thing. And refreshing.
I think a yearning to travel is an inherent part of society these days. Especially for photographers.
Shake it up
But I promised you a cheap trip. Here goes: shake up something you usually do.
Yes, that’s it. That’s all.
We all fall into ruts. Shooting the same subjects in the same way with the same lens in the same lighting. It becomes a habit. A habit is where we avoid thought and go through life on automatic. Shake that up by changing something. Force yourself to confront a different situation where we have to think.
One simple thing is to pick one lens we seldom use and photograph exclusively with it for a while, say a month. Some of us are naturally wide angle shooters. Switch to a telephoto. Some of us see only telephoto shots. Switch and only carry a wide angle for a while. Or a macro lens and only shoot closeups. Or a fish eye, or a tilt/shift. If you are a landscape photographer, try street photography. If you do portraits, try night skies.
And yes, just carry that one lens. Not your whole kit. It will force you to play the game.
Maybe try putting aside your “serious” camera for awhile and only use your phone. Or shoot with the expectation that you will process everything to black & white. Maybe it could be as simple a thing as deciding everything you are doing now will be cropped square.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Just do something different
It really does not matter what you choose, as long as it is different enough from what you usually do. During this time you are not concentrating on adding to your portfolio. The goal is to break free from your normal habits and learn to see better. Think again.
How is this a cheap trip? Travel encourages us to see different. We are out of our comfort zone. We become more mindful. Basic assumptions have to be re-examined. Things look new and different so we pay more attention to them. Making a change in our routine triggers similar things.
One way to simulate that same effect as travel to force our self out of our normal rut. A cheap and easy way to do that is to force a change in how we see through our camera.
Sound too easy? Try it. You may be surprised.
Practice mindfulness exercises
Making a change like this is one example of a mindfulness exercise. I’m not talking about chanting and navel gazing. The purpose of mindfulness is to set aside our preconceived notions and expectations. Wall out the distractions that are enticing us to other things. Learn to be in the moment, and to look around and actually see what is there.
Some people can get there through meditation. Some others through travel or workshops. Maybe for you going to a museum and looking at the work of great masters does it. But regardless of the mechanism that works for you, mindfulness comes down to creating a still place for yourself. A place where you can set aside distractions and competing thoughts for a while. Where you can free yourself to really see and consider what is around you for what it is. Where you can immerse yourself in the experience of creating.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
A cheap trip
I am not really joking when I say changing up your normal routine or environment occasionally is a cheap trip. It can produce some of the same benefits we often get from travel. Granted, it may not be as much fun, but it is a lot cheaper. And you can do it anytime or anywhere.
No, I’m not suggesting that this is an excuse to go buy that great new lens you have been wanting. Of course, whatever excuse works for you is up to you. But that shoots down the idea of a cheap trip.
Getting out of our normal territory and traveling to a new location often puts us in a more mindful attitude as we shoot. It amazes me that everything we see becomes an interesting subject. Part of that is because we set aside the uninterrupted time to be there and shoot. But I believe a large part of it is that we are seeing things new. That refreshes and energizes us.
I am suggesting another way to stimulate a similar effect of travel is to change something about our routine. Something to make us think, reconsider, focus more on what we are doing. Something to make us see past mechanics and rules of composition and social media likes.
Make it a habit to challenge yourself like this periodically. It does not require an uncomfortable 10 hour plane ride.
Today’s image
The image at the top of this article is an example of shaking myself out of a rut. This was taken in the Rockies in fall. Normally during this time I am concentrating on beautiful fall colors and aspen trees.
In this case, I tasked myself with ignoring the leaves and shooting the mountains after dark. No trees or fall colors visible. This is the Eisenhower Tunnel from the Loveland Pass road. Stars are just becoming apparent as the last light fades, illuminating the mountain silhouettes. The trail of lights in and out of the tunnel adds unique interest.
I felt good about it. Definitely not a conventional fall landscape.
January 8, 2025
Have an Opinion
I spent most of my photographic career just recording scenes. But now I think you probably won’t make a compelling image unless you have an opinion and express it in your art.
Just the facts
I started mostly focusing on just the facts. My goal was literal representation of scenes. I wanted to capture what was actually there, with no interpretation. I regret that.
Being an engineer didn’t help. It is very easy to get caught up in technical details of resolution and depth of field. My excuse is that I grew up in Texas and moved to Colorado in my early 20’s. The mountains were new to me and I wanted to record everything I could. I was basically running around saying “Wow, look at this! I never knew this existed!”.
If I had an opinion about it, it was something like awe and excitement about the new landscape. I took a lot of accurate, factual representational pictures back then, but very few are in any of my current collections. Beautiful images some of them, but little depth. Not compelling.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
What makes it special?
What makes an image special or worth lingering over? That is a hard question. Great photographers have been wrestling with that for 150 years. Painters have been agonizing over it for hundreds of years. There are no rules or definitive answers (despite all the rubbish you may find on the internet).
I am not in a position to give you a definitive answer either. If I could it would make my art a lot easier to do.
I think we can agree that some images jump out at us or hold us to linger over them. If we can agree on that then we can agree that there must be some quality or qualities that distinguish one from others.
It could simply be the composition or lighting or the precision of the execution or the decisive moment or something in the scene that grabs our interest. Maybe some combination of all of that.
I am drawn to believe it is all that but more. We see far too many well executed images of beautiful scenes that seem soulless, flat, uninspired. So there must be an unidentified quality that some get but others do not.
It is probably oversimplified, but I speculate that part of it could simply be whether the photographer was excited about it. We tend to be drawn to excitement in others. When someone is telling us a story that happened to them, their excitement has a lot to do with our engagement. If it is just a “I went to the grocery store and got some oranges”, well, we quickly drift away. But if it is “I went to the grocery store and the most amazing thing happened…” then, if they can keep the story going, we will follow.
Could it be that simple with our pictures?
Express yourself
I said when I started my photography I believed mainly in literal representation. It seemed wrong to try to project my feelings or opinion on them. Now I think I was totally wrong. That is why most of those early images were completely forgetable. I wasn’t truly being authentic because I was keeping my feelings to myself.
One thing the great and very quotable Jay Maisel said was “What you’re shooting at doesn’t matter, the real question is: ‘Does it give you joy?’”.
Now I believe that unless I am feeling something strong, it is useless to press the shutter. I want to believe that my excitement will carry through in some of my images. The good ones.
Another quote that guides me is “if it doesn’t excite you, why should it excite anyone else?” I think that is a Jay Maisel too, but I can’t find it. If not, maybe I’ll claim it. 🙂 Either way, I believe it. Why should you care about any of my images unless they came from something inside of me? Not just pressing the shutter button and capturing what is there.
So it is not enough for me to just capture an image of something. I want you to know what I was feeling, how I perceived it. I may have loved it or hated it, but you be able to sense it and participate in it.
It is not only OK for me to express my feelings, I think it is completely necessary to make something good.
©Ed Schlotzhauer
Nobody has to agree
But there is a dark side to human nature: when we express our feelings, some people will not agree. I know now that that is fine. When I took the attitude that everybody does not have to like what I did, it was tremendously liberating.
So now when someone says “I like that” or “I don’t like that” I basically ignore the comment. It is no use to me without more discussion. Actually, if someone does not like a picture I love to get into a conversation with them to find our why they felt that way. I will not change my image and I do not try to change their mind, but I am always curious about the reasons for negative reactions.
One of my goals is to create a reaction in you. I’m generally a positive and upbeat person and that is more often the type of reaction I aim for. But I would rather cause you to hate my work than to be indifferent to it. If you are indifferent I failed to move you at all.
I encourage you to fall in love with your subjects. Or find the subjects that revolt you and you want to have changed. Either way, feel something. Strongly. Your audience needs it and deserves it.
Today’s image
This was a quick “grab” shot, but that was because I did not want to disturb or upset the guy looking at me. I was more shy then. This has a lot of feeling for me. I was suffering and I’m sure they were, too. It was in a village in central Italy and it was about 100_^°F that afternoon. We were dying and the only people stupid enough to be out sightseeing. This old couple seemed to have found a relatively shady spot in the narrow street. Hopefully with some breeze. I’m sure that other neighbors would soon gather for their daily ritual.
I fell in love with the area and the way of life. They seemed to have contentment in their circumstances and the pace and traditions of their life. I came away with great respect for them. I wish I would have visited with this gentleman, but the heat was about to take me down and I don’t speak Italian. I’m pretty sure he did not speak English. So I let it go be. I’m sorry for that.
November 27, 2024